I thought maybe I should really start this update blog, because I know if I don't, I will never get around to it.
I am Charlotte Allingham, a wiradjuri woman from new south whales, but I currently live in Melbourne. I have always been drawing and it's always been something I have just done throughout my entire life.
From the very start of the year, my attitude and outlook on my work has changed dramatically, and I've answered alot of questions regarding my indigenous focused work that I've been smashing out this year, and I think it would be a great to talk about them here, I'm much better at writing then talking, so here go.
First off, I conjured this scene, where I would approach someone, and their first words would be "you're too white, you don't belong here." Reject me before I had a chance to do anything.
It was like a large demon that kept me away. I would just hear that over and over again and retreat because I couldn't handle it. I thought about it more often then not. It was a really personal battle, I knew who I was, so strongly, but I couldn't express it.I thought I couldn't, that I didn't have the right to my own culture. So I did nothing, and it was a void within myself that I couldn't fill, so then I began drawing this year in a way to heal that, too have something that I could funnel these thoughts and emotions into to release them.
These strong indigenous women are how I connect. they are what I see within myself andwithin the community. I just thought, "Fuck it, do it. It doesn't matter. You got this, you need this."
I drew alot from folklore, monsters and the heroine slaying demons. In a way, I find it romantic in a sense. These creatures of old, very terrifying and threatening can be killed by modern day woman. These women, that take no shit and do what needs to be done. Sometimes I think that I will become stronger if I draw these women, that I could perhaps overcome my own demons and violent people in my life if they can do it, so can I.
The aftermath of my 'always was' illustration, I never expected. Its still very surreal to think of. But it also Threw every fear I had into a fireball, I am now in the motion of healing. I am in the motion of learning and becoming a part of my community that I've denied myself for so long. I am in the process of becoming who I meant to be, I feel full of a purpose that I never thought I would have. It just showed me that my own fears aren't always right.
Sometimes it's a good thing to go against what you think, people can surprise you.
So, a fire has been lit in my soul, I want change. I want to help, express and empower. It's crazy because I didn't expect to be able to do the things I'm currently doing. I am no longer scared and ashamed of my fair skin. I am no longer afraid. This is it. It's important, art can heal and inspire and I have the means to do it. I have a clear veiw of what I need to do, a focus that fuels my art and my expression.
But for now, I am going to do what I've always done, draw and create.
I'm going to keep refining my skills and keep the fire burning, and take on experiences, because I'm sure there will be plenty of them this year. I'm going to try and keep up with posts about what I am doing and work in progress shots, explain my vision with my comic, with some other projects.
but yea. Here we are, I just hope I can do good.